We all know someone who loves being in the spotlight—maybe it’s the friend who always has a dramatic story to tell, the colleague who thrives on compliments, or the cousin who makes every family gathering about themselves. But when does seeking attention become more than just a personality quirk? Could it be something deeper, like Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)?
Let’s break it down together in the most relatable way possible. No jargon, no complex theories—just an honest look at what it means to crave attention and when it might signal something more serious.
Attention-Seeking vs. Histrionic Personality Disorder: What’s the Difference?
Attention-seeking is something we all engage in at some point. Babies cry to be held, children show off their drawings, and adults may dress sharply to be noticed. Social media thrives on this very trait—why else do we post selfies and wait for the likes to roll in? Wanting attention is natural.
But HPD is different. It’s not just about wanting validation or enjoying the limelight; it’s a persistent pattern of extreme emotional expression, an overwhelming need for approval, and behavior that can seem exaggerated or even manipulative.
Think of it this way: If attention-seeking is like putting on makeup before a night out, HPD is like wearing a full-blown theatrical costume 24/7, unable to tone it down even when the situation doesn’t call for it.
What Exactly Is Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)?
Histrionic Personality Disorder is a mental health condition categorized under Cluster B personality disorders, which are known for dramatic and unpredictable emotional responses. People with HPD don’t just want attention; they need it to feel valued and validated. They might feel that constant attention is a sure shot means of a connection!
Here’s the official definition: HPD is a disorder marked by excessive emotionality and a strong desire for attention, which often results in inappropriate behavior or exaggerated expressions of emotions.
Key symptoms of HPD include:
- Constantly seeking approval and reassurance
- Being easily influenced by others or circumstances
- Rapidly shifting and shallow emotions
- Overly seductive or flirtatious behavior (even in inappropriate settings)
- Using dramatic, exaggerated expressions of emotions
- Believing relationships are closer than they really are
- Craving excitement and easily becoming bored
Does this remind you of anyone? Maybe a friend who goes through emotional rollercoasters within a single conversation– Maybe it’s a cry for connection. A desperate one.
Real-Life Examples: Attention-Seeking vs. HPD
Example 1: The Social Media Star
- Attention-Seeking: Your friend posts selfies every day and gets upset if they don’t get enough likes.
- HPD: Someone posts revealing or highly dramatic content, gets deeply hurt if they are not showered with attention, and frequently changes their online persona for more validation.
Example 2: The Drama
- Attention-Seeking: A colleague loves gossip and exaggerates stories to make them sound juicier.
- HPD: A person creates drama even where there is none—fabricating stories, claiming deep emotional distress over minor issues, or constantly changing jobs and friendships to maintain excitement.
Example 3: The Relationship Chameleon
- Attention-Seeking: A friend quickly falls in and out of love, updating their status from “single” to “in a relationship” every few months.
- HPD: Someone idealizes partners immediately, acts extremely seductive, but loses interest just as fast, often feeling devastated when they are not the center of their partner’s world.
Why Does HPD Develop?
Like most personality disorders, HPD doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. Several factors contribute to it, including:
- Genetics: Studies indicate that personality disorders, including HPD, may have hereditary links. A family history of personality disorders or mood disorders can increase the risk.
- Early Childhood Experiences: Inconsistent parenting—such as excessive praise or attention/validation given for dramatic behavior or neglecting emotional needs—may lead to an exaggerated need for attention later in life.
- Neurobiological Factors: Research suggests that HPD may be linked to abnormalities in brain structure and function, particularly in areas regulating emotions and impulse control.
- Trauma & Environmental Stressors: Traumatic experiences, such as emotional and/ or sexual abuse, childhood neglect & unstable family dynamics can contribute to the development of HPD.
Can Someone with HPD Change?
Yes! But it takes work.
People with HPD often don’t realize their behavior is problematic. Since their actions often get them the attention they crave, they may not see a need for change. However, research has shown that with psychotherapy, personality disorders, including HPD, can be effectively treated. Therapy helps reduce symptoms, enhance emotional regulation, and foster healthier relationships, making it a crucial tool for managing personality disorders rather than leaving recovery to chance over time.
If you suspect someone you know has HPD, here’s what you can do:
- Encourage them to seek therapy without being judgmental.
- Set healthy boundaries to avoid being manipulated or enabling them.
- Avoid reinforcing their attention-seeking behavior.
- Remind them of their worth beyond external validation.
Final Thoughts: We All Want Attention, But There’s a Line
It’s easy to label someone as “dramatic” or “attention-seeking,” but mental health isn’t black and white. Not everyone who loves the limelight has HPD, just like not everyone who feels sad has depression. However, if someone’s need for attention is so extreme that it disrupts their relationships, work, or well-being, it may be time to consider deeper psychological factors.
Psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich explored defense mechanisms and their connection to personality types. He introduced the concept of “character armor,” which refers to the defense mechanisms individuals use to protect themselves from cognitive conflict. For individuals with HPD, defense mechanisms such as projection, splitting, displacement, and sexualization often come into play. These mechanisms help manage emotional tension but can also contribute to the behaviors that make HPD so challenging to understand.
Instead of viewing HPD through the lens of attention-seeking alone, we can appreciate it as a complex disorder that requires compassion, patience, and effective therapeutic interventions.
If this resonates with you or someone you love, help is always available. If you’re looking for counselling or psychotherapy, please book a session online using our calendar.
