Ever had that awkward feeling when everyone around you is jumping with joy, and you’re just… not feeling it? Festivals, whether it’s Diwali, Christmas, Eid, or a family wedding, are supposed to be these happy, vibrant times. But for some of us, they can bring an odd sense of disconnect, and overstimulation. This festival anxiety is real.
You’re in the middle of all the glitter, the lights, the noise—but somehow, you just don’t quite feel a part of it. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. So many people feel like they’re out of place during festivals, even though no one really talks about it. Maybe you’re new to a city, maybe you’re dealing with personal stuff, or maybe big gatherings just aren’t your thing. Whatever it is, it’s completely normal.
But the big question is—how do you get past it and actually enjoy yourself? Let’s dive into some ideas that might just help you go from feeling ‘meh’ to ‘this isn’t so bad after all.’
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First things first: Acknowledge it’s okay to feel this way
Do you ever catch yourself thinking, “Why am I not as excited as everyone else?” That little voice in your head that starts making you feel even worse—like something’s wrong with you for not being all hyped up? Here’s a reality check though: it’s totally okay. There’s no standard book of how hyped up you should or should not be during the festivals.
However, the expectations might seem endless—you’re supposed to be happy, you’re supposed to be social, you’re supposed to just have fun. But these are just expectations, not RULES. It’s alright if you’re not feeling festive. Just acknowledging that “Hey, I’m not into this right now, and that’s cool” can take a lot of pressure off. The more you resist your feelings, the more out of place you’ll feel.
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Ask yourself: Why do I feel this way?
Before you start trying to force yourself into the festive mood, take a minute to understand where that sense of disconnect is coming from. Is it social anxiety? Do big gatherings overwhelm you? Or maybe you’re dealing with some personal struggles that make it hard to celebrate. It’s not about giving yourself an excuse to stay home, but more about understanding your emotional state. Sometimes knowing the ‘why’ makes it easier to figure out how to deal with these feelings.
For instance, if it’s the big crowds or loud music that’s making you uncomfortable, maybe you can opt for quieter, more intimate gatherings. If it’s personal stuff weighing you down, it might help to talk to a friend or a mental health professional to help you move on.
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Set realistic expectations—skip the pressure!
You don’t have to go all in just because it’s a festival. Not feeling up for a big party? That’s cool. Maybe hanging out with a few close friends or just having a chill evening by yourself is what you need. Sometimes, we feel out of place because we put this huge pressure on ourselves to enjoy the occasion the way everyone else does. But enjoyment looks different for everyone.
Ask yourself: What would genuinely make me feel happy or relaxed today? It could be as simple as having a snack as you watch your favorite movie while everyone else is out partying. And guess what? That’s absolutely valid. Festivals aren’t one-size-fits-all.
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Take baby steps into the festivities
You don’t have to jump straight into the deep end of festival madness. If the thought of mingling with a hundred relatives or coworkers is making you nervous, start small. Could you just drop by for a quick hello or maybe stay for a part of the event that’s more manageable? Sometimes, just showing up—even if it’s for a short time—helps ease that sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) without feeling too overwhelmed.
Also, think about activities within the festival that resonate with you. Not a fan of loud parties? Maybe you’d enjoy decorating the house or cooking traditional food. It’s all about finding those manageable moments of joy within the larger celebration.
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Find your festival buddy
Have you ever noticed how much easier things become when you have someone with you who gets how you feel? Whether it’s your parents, a close friend, a cousin, or even your sibling, having a “festival buddy” can make all the difference. They’re the ones who understand if you need a break from the crowd, or if you’re feeling awkward and just need someone to stand with.
Ask yourself: Who can I lean on for this? It could be someone who’s also not super into the festivities or even someone who’s excited about them but understands that you might need a breather every now and then. Sometimes, just knowing you have someone on your side makes festivals much more bearable, if not downright fun.
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Create your own traditions
Here’s a fun idea: why not make your own little festival tradition? Maybe the mainstream celebration isn’t you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the festival in your own unique way. Whether it’s having a personal “me-time” ritual, like journaling, going for a walk, or baking something special, creating small, meaningful traditions can help you connect to the season on your terms.
Let’s say you’re not into the religious rituals or the partying rituals of Diwali—how about lighting a single diya and spending some quiet time reflecting on the past year? Or if Christmas feels too commercial for you, maybe your personal tradition could involve volunteering or donating to a cause you believe in. These new customs can help you feel more in tune with the season.
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Get a little festive—even if it’s just for yourself (and activate some joy!)
Even if you’re not feeling super festive, a little bit of effort can sometimes make a big difference. Behavioral activation is all about doing small activities that you know can improve your mood—even if you don’t feel like it in the moment. It’s like tricking your brain into catching up with your actions. And you’ll soon start feeling it!
Start small. If you like dressing up but don’t feel like going out, put on that festive outfit anyway and snap some selfies, play your favorite playlist, or even dance around your living room. It sounds bleh but it can be SO GOOD for you.
Don’t underestimate the power of these small acts. Engaging in sensory experiences—like putting on something that makes you feel good or eating something delicious—can help activate positive feelings even when you’re not in the mood.
Set a timer if needed! Even 15 minutes of ‘doing something festive’, like decorating a tiny corner of your space, lighting a candle, or playing traditional music in the background, can help shift your mood. The goal here is to give your brain a little nudge into the festive spirit, even if it takes a while to get there.
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Focus on moments of gratitude
Festivals often come with a lot of extra—extra noise, extra people, extra drama. But they also come with moments of connection and warmth. Focus on those small, meaningful moments. Maybe it’s a quiet chat with an old friend, or that first bite of your favorite sweet dish. Gratitude doesn’t have to be about the big picture— it can be just about anything that makes you feel good even for a tiny moment.
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Take breaks when you need them
Feeling overwhelmed? Step away. Seriously, there’s no rule saying you have to be on the entire time during a festival. If you’re feeling drained, take a break—whether it’s slipping away for a quiet moment outside, or even skipping an entire part of the event. Protecting your energy is key to not feeling out of place.
Ask yourself: What’s my personal limit? Whether it’s the noise, the crowds, or the endless conversations, listen to your inner voice. When your body or mind tells you it needs a breather, don’t ignore it but follow through for the sake of your own well-being.
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Give yourself permission to say ‘no’
This is a big one. There’s often so much social pressure around festivals—attend this party, meet that relative, hug that aunty, drop off that uncle, and more. But you know what? You can say no. If something is too much, politely but firmly, take a step back. You don’t have to attend every single thing or make excuses for why you don’t want to. That can get exhausting.
Sometimes, just knowing that it’s okay to opt-out without guilt makes it easier to enjoy the things you do choose to be a part of.
Lastly, the key to enjoying festivals when you’re feeling out of place is to stop comparing your experience with everyone else’s. Do what works for you, leave the rest, and—most importantly—be kind to yourself amidst all this.
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