Growing up I was always given the impression that consuming intoxicating substances is the worst thing one can do. It was easier to believe this on seeing my closest relatives acting out when intoxicated. I always wondered ‘Why would they do this, knowing what it does to them & to those around them?’
While thinking in such a manner, I never realized how much of a blame I put on those who used substances. As if all the agency rests with one. As if there are no brain chemicals involved which keep urging one to use a certain substance over & over again.
And while it’s convenient to blame someone for their actions, it’s important to understand what addiction does to those who use, and how it can leave someone feeling hopeless, out of control & and in a constant need for more. Its URGENT to understand addiction as a disease rather than a choice.
Substance addiction, or substance use disorder (SUD), is when a person keeps using drugs or alcohol despite knowing it’s causing harm to their health, relationships, and life in general. It’s like they’re stuck in a cycle of using the substance over and over, even though it’s hurting them. Watching a loved one battle addiction can be heart-wrenching. It can evoke feelings of helplessness, frustration, and often despair.
On one hand, you may feel deep empathy and compassion for their struggle, wanting to support and help them overcome their addiction and you might even experience moments of hope when they show progress or determination to get better making you feel like the ends will meet this time.
However, on the other hand, it can also be incredibly challenging and draining at times. You may feel helpless, unable to control their actions or stop them from harming themselves. You might even experience frustration, anger, and even resentment towards them, especially if their addiction causes harm to themselves or those around them, including you. Witnessing their struggles, relapses, and the toll it takes on their health and relationships can be heartbreaking.
As their addiction takes its toll on your relationship, loving them can feel like an uphill battle. In the process of supporting them, you might overlook your own mental and emotional health but doing so can leave you feeling drained and questioning your self-worth.
So, how can you support them in ways that allow you to look after your emotional needs as well?
Understanding Addiction
To effectively support someone battling addiction, it is crucial to first comprehend the nature of addiction itself. Addiction is not simply a matter of weak willpower or moral failing; it is a complex disease that alters brain chemistry, hijacking the individual’s ability to control their impulses and behaviors. It manifests in various forms, from substance abuse to compulsive behaviors, each with its unique challenges and repercussions.
What Does Substance Use Disorder (SUD) involve?
- Alcohol
- Caffeine
- Cannabis
- Hallucinogens
- Inhalants
- Opioids
- Sedatives
- Hypnotics, or anxiolytics
- Stimulants (including amphetamine-type substances, cocaine, and other stimulants)
- Tobacco
The DSM 5 criteria for substance use disorder includes the following:
- Taking more of the substance than prescribed or for a longer time.
- Feeling a strong urge to use the substance.
- Struggling to cut down on substance use.
- Spending a lot of time getting or using the substance.
- Having trouble at work, school, or home because of substance use.
- Using substances despite problems in relationships.
- Giving up hobbies or activities due to substance use.
- Using substances even when it’s risky.
- Continuing to use despite health issues caused by the substance.
- Needing more of the substance to get the same effect.
- Feeling sick when not using the substance, relieved by taking more.
Other signs may include:
- Feeling confused.
- Not eating regularly or neglecting your basic needs like food & water.
- Avoiding friends and family or other social events.
- Sudden mood changes.
- Engaging in risky behaviors.
- Getting defensive when asked about substance use.
- Caring less about appearance.
- Trying to hide substance use.
- Using substances alone whenever possible.
Seeking medical help when noticing signs of substance use disorder is crucial and can change the course of addiction.
Research has shown that the most prevalent substance that is misused in India is alcohol, followed by cannabis and opioids. The rate of alcohol use stands at 4.6%, with a male-to-female ratio of 17:1. Cannabis follows at 2.8%, and opioids at 2.1%, with heroin being the most commonly used opioid at 1.14%.
Biology behind Substance Use Disorder:
Our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, a survival mechanism we all possess. When substances like alcohol, opioids, or stimulants interfere with neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, they create pleasurable effects. Over time, the brain relies on these substances to feel good, which means that without such substance use one is unable to experience positive emotions while their negative emotions feel exacerbated, leading to chemical dependency.
This leads to the development of tolerance meaning that one will require higher doses for the same “feel good” effects until they’re provided help.
What are the Risk Factors for developing Substance Use Disorder?
Environmental Influences
- Family Environment: Growing up in a household where substance use is common can raise the risk of developing SUD.
- Peer Pressure and Social Circles: Being around friends or social groups that use substances can influence behavior.
- Accessibility: Easy access to substances, whether from home or the streets, plays a big role.
- Socioeconomic Status: Financial stress and lower economic conditions can make SUD more likely as a way to cope.
- Cultural Influences: Social attitudes and cultural beliefs about substance use also play a role.
Genetic Factors
- Family History: Genetics can predispose individuals to addictive behaviors.
- Biological Factors: How the body metabolizes substances can affect dependence.
- Genetic Mutations: Specific gene changes may increase susceptibility to SUDs.
- Age of First Use: Genetic factors combined with when someone starts using substances can impact the risk of SUD.
Psychological Factors
- Mental Health: Conditions like depression, anxiety, and PTSD often co-occur with SUD.
- Stress and Coping: Difficulty managing stress can lead to substance use as a way to cope.
- Personality Traits: Impulsivity or seeking intense experiences can make someone more likely to experiment with substances.
- Trauma: Past or ongoing trauma can lead to substance use as a coping mechanism.
Recognizing that these factors interact is important. They don’t just exist in isolation. They can amplify each other, increasing vulnerability. For example, someone with a genetic predisposition may be more vulnerable in a high-stress environment.
Understanding these factors isn’t about blame; it’s about informing prevention and treatment strategies.
What can you do as someone who wants to extend support without hurting oneself?
Empathy and Compassion:
The foundation of supporting a loved one through addiction lies in empathy and compassion. It is essential to recognize that addiction is not a choice but a relentless struggle against formidable odds. Approach the situation with an open heart and a non-judgmental mindset, fostering an environment where your loved one feels safe and understood.
Educate Yourself:
Arming yourself with knowledge about addiction can empower you to provide informed support. Research the specific substance or behavior your loved one is grappling with, understand its effects on the body and mind, and familiarize yourself with available treatment options. This knowledge equips you to offer practical advice and guidance while discarding the myths and misconceptions surrounding addiction.
Effective Communication:
Communication is key in any relationship, but it takes on heightened significance when supporting someone with addiction. Encourage open dialogue, but avoid confrontational or accusatory language that may trigger defensiveness. Express your concerns and observations from a place of genuine care and affection, emphasizing your unwavering support and willingness to assist them on their journey to recovery.
Set Boundaries:
While supporting a loved one through addiction, it is imperative to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. This entails setting clear expectations regarding acceptable behavior and consequences for violations. Boundaries serve to protect your well-being and communicate to your loved one the gravity of their actions. However, it is essential to enforce boundaries with empathy and consistency, avoiding punitive measures that may exacerbate tensions.
Encourage Treatment:
Encouraging your loved one to seek professional treatment is a crucial step towards recovery. Offer to research treatment options, accompany them to appointments, or provide emotional support throughout the process. Understand that recovery is a deeply personal journey, and the decision to seek treatment must ultimately come from within. Be patient and supportive, affirming your unwavering belief in their ability to overcome addiction.
Practice Self-Care:
Supporting a loved one through addiction can be emotionally taxing, often leading to burnout and resentment if neglected. Prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit. Whether it’s exercising, meditating, or spending time with supportive friends and family, carving out moments of respite is essential for maintaining your well-being.
Seek Support:
You do not have to navigate the complexities of addiction support alone. Seek out support groups or counseling services tailored to families and friends of individuals struggling with addiction. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide invaluable insight, validation, and solidarity, fostering a sense of community amidst adversity.
Be Patient and Persistent:
Recovery from addiction is a gradual and often nonlinear process, characterized by ups and downs. Be patient with your loved one and yourself, understanding that setbacks are a natural part of the journey. Celebrate small victories and offer unwavering support during moments of struggle. Persistence is key; continue to advocate for your loved one’s well-being and remain steadfast in your commitment to their recovery.
Supporting a loved one through addiction is a journey fraught with challenges. It could even be an unwanted passage through which you will grow indefinitely, for it is an unhinged testament to the enduring power of love, empathy, and resilience.
How can counselling help you & your loved one who is struggling?
Research has shown ample evidence for how counselling can help one deal with addiction effectively.
Counselling for them (as the one struggling with addiction)
- Counseling offers personalized treatment plans tailored to the individual’s specific needs, addressing underlying issues contributing to substance use.
- It helps individuals identify triggers and underlying emotions driving their substance use, empowering them to develop healthier coping strategies.
- Counseling teaches individuals practical coping skills to manage stress, cravings, and difficult emotions without resorting to substance use.
- Through counselling, individual can find an environment that is supportive, non-judgmental & feels safe for them to explore their struggles, fears, and goals for recovery.
- Counselors help individuals set achievable goals and hold them accountable for their progress, providing encouragement and support along the way.
Counselling for you (as the one trying to support them)
- Counseling offers education about substance use disorder, helping loved ones understand the nature of the problem and how they can support their family member effectively.
- It provides a safe space for you to express your feelings, fears, and frustrations, validating your experiences and offering you with emotional support.
- Counselors teach effective communication strategies, helping loved ones express their concerns, set boundaries, and engage in constructive dialogue with their family member.
- Counseling can help you establish healthy boundaries to protect themselves emotionally and avoid enabling behaviors that may inadvertently support the substance use.
- Lastly, it emphasizes the importance of self-care for yourself, encouraging you to prioritize your own well-being and seek support from your network of friends, family, or support groups.
Witnessing and supporting a loved one struggle with addiction can be incredibly challenging, and that its okay to acknowledge when the weight of the situation feels overwhelming. Taking a step back or setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re abandoning them; it means you’re taking care of yourself, which ultimately benefits both of you in the long run. Your mental and emotional health matters too and finding a balance between supporting your loved one and protecting your own boundaries is key. It’s natural to feel guilty but know that prioritizing yourself doesn’t diminish your love or concern for them.
By prioritizing your own well-being, you’re not just finding strength for yourself, but also nurturing the resilience needed to continue being a source of support and love.
