Although situationships are rising in popularity, let’s be real—they’ve got a bad rep. They’re often seen as confusing, messy, and a recipe for heartbreak. But is that always the case? What if situationships could actually be… healthy? If you’re scratching your head, wondering what that even looks like, you’re not alone. Let’s break it down.
What’s a Situationship, Anyway?
Think of it as a “not-quite-a-relationship.” You’re more than friends but not exactly committed. It’s that tricky gray area where you enjoy someone’s company without labeling it. Sounds simple,Health right? Well, it can be—if both people are on the same page.
But how do you keep it from turning into a chaotic mess?
Communication Is Key
Have you ever been in a situation where you weren’t sure how the other person felt? It’s exhausting, isn’t it? A healthy situationship eliminates that guessing game. Both people should know what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.
Here’s a question for you: When was the last time you openly talked about your feelings and boundaries with someone you were seeing? Did it feel awkward? If so, that’s normal—but it’s also necessary.
In a healthy situationship, you should feel comfortable saying things like:
- “I like spending time with you, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”
- “I’m okay with this being casual, but I need us to respect each other’s time.”
- “It’s completely understandable if one of us develops feelings for the other, I just want us to be open about it”
The goal is clarity, not perfection.
Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
Have you ever felt pressured to do something you weren’t ready for? In a healthy situationship, that pressure doesn’t exist. Both people respect each other’s limits—whether it’s about emotional vulnerability, physical intimacy, or how often you text/ call.
Ask yourself: Are you and the other person respecting each other’s space and needs? If the answer is no, it might be time to reevaluate.
Boundaries aren’t just about saying “no” to things you don’t want. They’re also about understanding what you do want and expressing that without fear of judgment. Healthy situationships are built on mutual respect, and that respect only exists when both people feel safe to be themselves.
Consistency, Not Confusion
Healthy doesn’t mean “serious.” But it does mean you can rely on the other person. Mixed signals are a no-go. You don’t have to talk every day or plan weekly dates, but there should be a sense of stability and familiarity.
Have you ever been in this situation– You’re trying to figure out if someone likes you because their behavior changes all the time and you can’t be sure. One minute they’re showering you with attention, and the next, they’re distant. That’s not a healthy situationship—it’s a stress fest. Consistency would allow you both to feel safe, that in turn, will make room for you both being real with each other– even predictable. That’s not a bad thing to have in the middle of a grey area.
This allows your situationship to feel more certain than just grey. A healthy situationship doesn’t mean you won’t feel confused at times, it just means that there’ll just be a safe space to seek some clarity. There’s no wondering if you’re being ghosted or if you’ll ever hear from them again. They show up for you consistently, even if it’s in a casual, friendly way.
Fun Without Strings (or Guilt)
At its best, a situationship should feel light and enjoyable. You’re there for the connection and good vibes, not for endless drama. Think of it like this: Can you laugh together without overthinking every little thing? If the answer is yes, you’re probably on the right track.
But let’s address the elephant in the room: Is it okay to have fun without long-term intentions? Absolutely. Society often pressures us to define relationships in rigid terms, but not every connection needs to fit a specific mold. If both people are clear about what they want, there’s no harm in keeping things lighthearted.
Here’s a fun exercise: Think about what you genuinely enjoy about the person you’re seeing. Is it their sense of humor? Their ability to make you feel at ease? Focusing on the positives can help you appreciate the connection without worrying about where it’s going.
Emotional Safety Is Non-Negotiable
Do you feel safe expressing your thoughts and feelings? A healthy situationship doesn’t mean you’re emotionally detached. You might not share everything, but you should feel comfortable being vulnerable when it matters.
For example, if you’re having a bad day, do you feel like you can reach out to them without fear of being ignored or dismissed? If the answer is no, that’s a red flag. Healthy connections—even casual ones—are built on emotional safety.
Knowing When to Walk Away
Here’s the tricky part: not all situationships are meant to last. Sometimes, one person catches feelings while the other doesn’t. Or maybe the dynamic no longer works for one of you.
And that’s okay. Walking away from something that doesn’t serve you anymore isn’t a failure—it’s self-respect. Think about it: Would you rather stay in a situation that’s no longer fulfilling or make space for something better?
If you’re unsure whether to continue, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I feel valued in this connection?
- Am I learning and growing, or am I just stuck?
- Would I be okay if this situationship ended?
If the answers don’t sit well with you, it might be time to have an honest conversation or move on.
Situationships vs. Relationships: The Choice Is Yours
Ultimately, the question isn’t, Can situationships be healthy? It’s Is this situationship healthy for YOU?
Healthy situationships aren’t about following a formula. They’re about understanding yourself and the other person. Do you feel seen and heard? Do you feel like you’re growing, not settling? If the answer is yes, then you’re in a good place. But if it’s a constant source of stress or confusion, it might be time to reconsider.
Here’s the thing: Relationships, in all their forms, are supposed to enhance your life. Whether it’s a friendship, a situationship, or a full-blown partnership, the connection should add value—not drain your energy.
Situationships don’t have to be messy. With communication, respect, and a bit of honesty, they can be a great way to connect without pressure. So, what do you think—can a situationship be just what you need right now? Or is it time to aim for something more defined?
The choice is yours. Just make sure it’s one that feels right for you.
Mental health matters, and help is always available. If you’re looking for counselling or psychotherapy, please book a session online using our calendar.
